Posted by: William W. (Woody) Williams
In the wonderful revolving door of what I refer to as "resume roulette" -- job hunting to rest of humanity -- emotions run the gamut and humor is one of the most common. I suppose it's due to my nature (somewhat laid back and almost always cheerful) that I see things as funny when others may not.
It's not that I don't appreciate the serious nature of whatever thing it is we're collectively in the midst of... I do. Especially if we're out of work and lacking good prospects.
I just don't see complaining and griping about it as a way forward -- a way out. And, it's probably not the end of civilization as we know it no matter how bad it seems at the moment. And, if it is the end of civilization, whatever little problem is on our plate right now really won't matter. I'm not Chicken Little. I'm not hooked up that way.
There is some healthy grieving that goes along with any change but, as a contract / consultant project manager, I've seen a lot of change both personally and as an affected observer. And that is especially the case for ups and notable downs in job markets.
Over the years, as a consequence, I've reinvented myself several times. Yes, with a little grieving, but more with a healthy sense of adventure and heightened sense of taking on a new challenge. A little reinvention is good for the soul.
I admit it: I've been a hiring manager. Sometimes in a consulting role assisting a functional manager with project resources, sometimes as a lead forming teams of other contractors / consultants; sometimes as a functional manager myself; other times as the owner of the business. Yep, the secret is out; I admit it.
Those of you who have filled this role yourself know the process of combing through resumes, due diligence, phone interviews, sitting through excrutiating face-to-face interviews, and working through a sometimes intractable HR department to finally get the thing done. If you haven't, you know the game from the other side of the table.
I've seen a lot of resumes and people put weird stuff on their resumes. A Tweet from a recruiter the other day noted a resume received that included a three month gig in professional sports about 15 years ago for a candidate applying for a technical position.
It's sad but also humorous -- not in the "laughing at you" way but... well, I've seen worse and funnier.
I once had a gentleman tell me in a interview -- this was probably 1998 or 1999 -- that he had fifeteen years experience using Microsoft FrontPage.
Long pause.
I probed a bit to make sure we were talking about the same thing and he stuck to his guns. I made absolutely sure that FrontPage guy was telling me he started using this (code-chopping WYSIWYG) web editor in or around 1983 -- at about the same time Tim Berners-Lee completed writing a notebook program, "Enquire-Within-Upon-Everything", which allowed links to be made between arbitrary nodes.
In fact, Microsoft released FrontPage in 1996 so it was relatively new at the time of the interview.
FrontPage guy got some laughs from our group later... And not in that nice, "laughing with you" way either.
The lesson there is don't make stuff up when you don't know enough about it to fake it. FrontPage guy might have been a dynamite technical writer but he certainly wasn't joining my team -- I can't work with people like that and my team doesn't deserve that kind of grief either.
Another, even worse, thing I see people do a lot is apply for positions where the requirements don't match their skillset. They do this on purpose and with malice aforethought. I mean this seriously: It's a very bad thing to do and leads to no good outcome for you. Do not do this.
If the job requirement says, "Advanced Degree Required," and you don't have one, forget it. No matter what you might think about whether or not that degree is really necessary, it's wanted; it's a job requirement. If you don't have it, you are not wanted... Stay away. Move on.
If the posting is for a "development manager with enterprise software experience" and you are a project manager with experience running web development projects, keep your resume out of the pile. Even if you think you could become the best development manager on the planet, they are not looking for you... Don't do it. Move on.
If the hiring manager, the VP and the Director all decide they need a resource with 15 years experience and you don't have that experience, don't do it. No matter if you think you can do the job better than anyone on the planet and are dead certain they have the requirement wrong, don't do it. Move on.
Why? Because this is a very, very small world and not getting bigger.
Your reputation as a responsible, reputable professional is based on your actions. When recruiters and hiring managers in your market get to know you as the kind of person who continually displays this kind of arrogance and callous disregard, they will shun you. You can't get that back. Once it's done, it's done forever.
Remember Frontpage guy? Do you think I would seriously consider him again for any position in any organization?
No.
I don't know why he did what he did but if his resume came up again, I would chunk it without a second thought. If you play FrontPage guy frequently enough and in enough of your market, your career is over. You couldn't get an interview taping thousand dollar bills to your resume.
Now that last paragraph may not jibe with my casual, laid-back, happy-go-lucky attitude thing earlier. That's OK: I still think FrontPage guy is hilarious... and, the three-month sports guy... and, a lot more like them. But there's a serious side here as well.
I don't want to see people do things because of fear, insecurity, or frustration in a down economy that could hurt them for years to come.
Be honest about yourself... represent yourself wisely and responsibly... don't become a joke around HR or with your market recruiters. Play the Match Game with integrity.
And if you see FrontPage guy, tell him that opening is filled.
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